Bananas of a Different Color | The Banality Report

Banana Ripeness Rating Guide

Astute readers may have noticed that our articles come equipped with a The Banality Report banana logo. Especially astute readers will have noticed that these bananas come in a variety of colors, shapes, sizes, and tastes. Ok, not all of that is true (how do you taste a pixel anyway???), but the color thing certainly is. Below you’ll find our banana color definitions (they’re kinda like a traffic light, but also not kinda).

On to The Ripening!

Yellow Banana

What is a yellow banana? Its a totally normal, average, mundane, some might say banal kind of banana. When you see a yellow banana logo it means the article is normal, usually on the positive side (or not bad or depressing) or neutral side, and generally mundane. You will see this logo on most of our reports. Its the most common kind of banana and is completely ripe!

Green Banana

In the wild, non-virtual world, green bananas usually represent a newbie banana. A banana that hasn’t quite become a real, grown-up banana, banana. At The Banality Report, when you see a green banana logo it means this banana has not yet ripened and is ready to be shaped by each reader’s own personal views and biases. Maybe shaped is not the right word, but basically this is a “your mileage may vary” (ymmv) kind of banana depending on who you are, what views you bring to the discussion, and how you see the world. These posts may tend to be more on the political side even though TBR strives to be somewhat a-political (knowing full-well that all humans, including the Banana Prima, have biases and opinions), but we find a person’s world view can sometimes color how they interpret some data, especially in those spicier areas of life like politics, religion, and whatever celebrity saga is trending right now. This banana is in the eye of the beholder.

Red Banana

No, this is not a communist banana (well, ok, it might be actually). A red banana is that rare type of banana you may see at The Banality Report that simultaneously proves we are not all Pollyannaish, and we sometimes have a dark, brooding complexity you can only find in the smokiest cafes in Paris in the 1920’s (ok, fine we have no idea where brooding poets hone their craft, you caught us). Red Bananas signify the kind of mundane news that isn’t all kittens and rainbows and might even be a bit on the depressing or sad side of the less exciting news world. Here be Dragons (who have been proved to love bananas). A Red Banana article doesn’t lead, but it might bleed (but ever so rarely), or make you sad, but it hopefully will still help us have some perspective about our place in the multi-verse. This banana’s ripeness level is its own thing, and is not for everyone’s taste.

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